It’s no surprise that once you hit your twenties it becomes more and more apparent when dealing with friendships it’s about quality not quantity. For sentimental people like myself, this has always been something that I struggled with, wanting to keep everyone and learning the hard way that you can’t keep people.
They out grow you, or you out grow them. Of course I’ve always had a lot of “friends” but does that word hold value when you’re going through a break up or alone on your birthday or struggling with anything life throws at you? Which is why I had finally gotten sick of everyone I surrounded myself.In December (most likely at my peak low), I went to Tulum. I knew one person when I arrived as everyone I had found out was flying back to Miami, just as I was landing in Mexico. I didn’t care. The beauty of the place was something I couldn’t have dreamed up. It was one of the most spiritual and relaxing places I’ve ever been to. Little did I know the people I was about to meet would change my life. They were the type of people whose presence steals your gaze makes it impossible for your eyes or mind to wander. They were magnetic, light, love and free. There were two of them, the same type… a type of person I had never met before, or maybe had but hadn’t noticed. I think at all times we are surrounded by opportunities for life altering changes. It’s often hard to see them until you’re at the bottom of the bottom and have no other choice but to start opening your eyes to them. That being said I think even if I was in a better place I their magnetism still would have had a hold over me. The two of them were so unregrettably themselves and so free. I remember watching them dance, doing moves my past self would find weird, but I was so captivated by how happy they were and their ability to not care that there were hundreds of people around. They were free! They did what they felt while everyone else just bobbed their head or tapped their feet out of fear of being judged. But the thing was, no one was judging them these two. They stole all the eyes in the room because they were 100% who they are. Later I would find myself joining in with them and this is when I knew I was about to be changed. They moved my mind into a place it had never experienced. I want you to find friends like this!
The ones that say your name with love in it. That ask about your life and intentionally listen and not offer a comment or story until its done and don’t tell you you’re right or wrong. The kind you can talk about life, space, love whatever it may be and don’t respond as if youre crazy and think in the back of their head you will come around and believe what they believe. Look for the ones that aren’t trying to make you like them, but pushing you to be more like yourself. They type that’s excited to hear new ideas and thoughts and stories. That appreciate you and everything that comes with you. Accepting the whole essence of your being despite how different you are. Find the ones that don’t want to change you but want to grow with you watching you bloom at your own speed and the ones you want to be around to watch flourish. Friends that want to share you with everyone they know because they see every good part inside of you and think you are special. Friends that teach you about the importance of love and happiness. That show you you can relate to anyone if you just ask questions and help you understand communication is essential to any human connection.
I left Tulum in a new place and I was ready to drop a lot of draining relationships from my life. The ones that removed me from a place where I could find joy in just about anything, like being stuck in florida traffic with no ac or working car windows and sweating so bad it looked like I had jumped fully clothed into a pool. The ones that stole my patience and made me focus on negative traits in other people I knew. The ones that didn’t really care about me but would call when they couldn’t find anything better to do because they didn’t want to exist alone. I came back more me than I had ever been but far away from the girl who lives in Milan and the guy that lives in Mexico. Near to the point of separation anxiety, I met a younger girl, very similar to me, but also to them. Like my two new friends wanted to share me, I wanted to share her. Needless to say the four of us are pretty well-connected. So much so that it’s almost like we are sharing the same energy waves. I can feel when something is off-balance and they can with me and before I would even have a chance to reach out to them, I can, without fail, expect a message coming though my phone. It’s like magic. They are magic, the unicorns of friends. Unicorns exist.
